Jeff And The 5 Big Balled bears
Jeff Brot and the Five Sussy Big Balled Bears
A Fairy Tale
by AB Stories
Once upon a time there was a Not Sus boy called Jeff Brot. He was on the way to see his Father Jim Brot, when he decided to take a short cut through MemeForest.
It wasn't long before Jeff got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Fur Suit, but Fur Suit was nowhere to be found! Jeff began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Fur Suit. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a Sussy Big Balled Bear dressed in a Slightly yellow puple green Leggings disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Jeff.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed Big Balled Bear. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Jeff reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from eggplant, a house made from 1 Ball, a house made from 2 Balls, a house made from 3 Balls, a house made from 4 Balls and a house made from 5 Balls.
Jeff could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Jeff looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Jeff a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Fur Suit!
"Fur Suit!" shouted Jeff. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Fur Suit back!" cried Jeff.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Fur Suit out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, five Sussy Big Balled Bears rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Jeff recognised the one in the Slightly yellow puple green Leggings that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Big Balled Bear," said the witch.
"Good morning." The Big Balled Bear noticed Fur Suit. "Who is this?"
"That's Fur Suit," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Fur Suit would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the Big Balled Bear.
The witch shook her head. "Fur Suit is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Jeff interrupted. "Fur Suit lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Big Balled Bear ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Big Balled Bear looked at the house made from 5 Balls and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from 5 Balls if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next Big Balled Bear. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Fur Suit."
Jeff watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Fur Suit to Big Big Balled Bear. He didn't think Fur Suit would like living with a Sussy Big Balled Bear, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other four Big Balled Bears watched while Big Big Balled Bear put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Big Balled Bear. "Just you watch!"
Big Big Balled Bear pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from 1 Ball. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Big Balled Bear started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of 1 Ball, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Big Balled Bear.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Big Balled Bear never finished eating the front door made from 1 Ball and Fur Suit remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Big Balled Bear stepped up, and approached the house made from 2 Balls.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Big Balled Bear. "Just you watch!"
Average Big Balled Bear pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from 2 Balls. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Big Balled Bear started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a Big Balled Bear!" said Average Big Balled Bear.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Big Balled Bear, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the Big Balled Bear away under his arm.
Average Big Balled Bear never finished eating the front door made from 2 Balls and Fur Suit remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Big Balled Bear stepped up, and approached the house made from 3 Balls.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Big Balled Bear. "Just you watch!"
Little Big Balled Bear pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from 3 Balls. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Big Balled Bear started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating 3 Balls for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Big Balled Bear into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Big Balled Bear. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Big Balled Bear was never seen again.
Little Big Balled Bear never finished eating the front door made from 3 Balls and Fur Suit remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Tiny Big Balled Bear stepped up, and approached the house made from 4 Balls.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Big Balled Bear. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Big Balled Bear pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from 4 Balls. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Big Balled Bear's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of 4 Balls, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Big Balled Bear, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Big Balled Bear never finished eating the front door made from 4 Balls and Fur Suit remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear stepped up, and approached the house made from 5 Balls.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from 5 Balls. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "5 Balls! Watch me eat all the 5 Balls!"
"It looks as though the 5 Balls are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Bong!
Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Big Balled Bear never finished eating the front door made from 5 Balls and Fur Suit remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Fur Suit."
"Not so fast," said Jeff. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from eggplant. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the Big Balled Bears. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Jeff.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Fur Suit back."
Jeff ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from eggplant and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Jeff sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Jeff. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Jeff's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from eggplant. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Jeff was down to the final piece of the door made from eggplant. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Jeff had eaten the entire front door of the house made from eggplant.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Fur Suit or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Jeff hurried over and grabbed Fur Suit, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Fur Suit was unharmed.
Jeff thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Jim. It was starting to get dark.
When Jeff got to Jim's house, his Father threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Jim. "You are very late."
As Jeff described his day, he could tell that Jim didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Jim.
Jeff unwrapped a doorknob made from 1 Ball. "Pudding!" he said.
Jim almost fell off his chair.
The End
THE END